It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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