Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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