I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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