I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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