My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
