Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Why is your signature on my underwear?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
