Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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