He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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