I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
