omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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