That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
