Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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