ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
