my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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