Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
tell me about the fingering
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