just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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