So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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