Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
