Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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