$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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