i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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