I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
