He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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