I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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