And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
