My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
