glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
