Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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