just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
