dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
