Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
