So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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