Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
