sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
