So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
