I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
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90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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