I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
