I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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