no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
