you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
