Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
