Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
