Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
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dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
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I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.