Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today

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  (951): my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today http://tfl.nu/mtcw
  Replies (11) Good night (844) Bad night (1305)
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  (415): View more from California

  Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Cooked or uncooked?

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  (415): Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep. (503): Cooked or uncooked? http://tfl.nu/xhai
  Replies (12) Good night (4106) Bad night (731)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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  (850): when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children? http://tfl.nu/iefn
  Replies (26) Good night (1318) Bad night (6041)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex

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  (620): throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex http://tfl.nu/5t79
  Replies (17) Good night (5882) Bad night (1016)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.

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  (608): May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in. http://tfl.nu/2att
  Replies (6) Good night (3730) Bad night (1025)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.

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  (217): I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart. http://tfl.nu/psm5
  Replies (6) Good night (2162) Bad night (960)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant

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  (812): So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant http://tfl.nu/h2w3
  Replies (19) Good night (1195) Bad night (2932)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman

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  (724): we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman http://tfl.nu/wgol
  Replies (11) Good night (3196) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (2946) Bad night (656)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.

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  (847): I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed. http://tfl.nu/z7fq
  Replies (2) Good night (1421) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.

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  (503): I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together. http://tfl.nu/6ddq
  Replies (15) Good night (1775) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.

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  (919): It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn. http://tfl.nu/o70k
  Replies (6) Good night (1233) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And by one day I mean once every two weeks.

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  (604): If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob. (604): And by one day I mean once every two weeks. http://tfl.nu/w0wa
  Replies (14) Good night (3054) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.

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  (612): Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted. (218): And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face. http://tfl.nu/e0j5
  Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm so hungover I can't taste anything

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  (919): I'm so hungover I can't taste anything http://tfl.nu/o9yl
  Replies (0) Good night (239) Bad night (278)

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