i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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