Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.

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  (973): Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie. http://tfl.nu/rlm3
  Replies (20) Good night (2365) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.

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  (585): Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked. http://tfl.nu/rhwl
  Replies (27) Good night (2540) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?

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  (443): I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch? http://tfl.nu/v0c3
  Replies (17) Good night (4370) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.

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  (816): Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me. http://tfl.nu/4boe
  Replies (15) Good night (4233) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.

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  (815): I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time. http://tfl.nu/qrqx
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...

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  (919): Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible... http://tfl.nu/6e9j
  Replies (6) Good night (1584) Bad night (893)
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  (707): View more from California

  She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.

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  (707): She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place. http://tfl.nu/aqji
  Replies (9) Good night (5351) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.

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  (407): Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost. http://tfl.nu/odd1
  Replies (8) Good night (1621) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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  (336): I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead. http://tfl.nu/ixs0
  Replies (4) Good night (2265) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.

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  (713): We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning. http://tfl.nu/f21r
  Replies (2) Good night (2084) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.

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  (207): Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far. http://tfl.nu/heu3
  Replies (16) Good night (1603) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese

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  (414): I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese http://tfl.nu/evtb
  Replies (8) Good night (910) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.

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  (305): Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/pad6
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned

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  (908): And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned http://tfl.nu/t8ci
  Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (230)
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  (914): View more from New York

  THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

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  (914): THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED http://tfl.nu/eqdp
  Replies (6) Good night (1358) Bad night (162) Order T-Shirt

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