I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card