New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
