Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(862): View more from New Jersey

Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

Fav 40 2479 3427
share tweet
(719): View more from Colorado

I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work

Fav 14 3900 1140
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.

Fav 48 6309 1513
share tweet
(928): View more from Arizona

She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.

Fav 31 8876 3401
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day

Fav 10 5579 1009
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.

Fav 10 1340 4786
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.

Fav 16 6680 1653
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"

Fav 1 573 302
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.

Fav 0 32 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT