Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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