I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she told me i tasted like america
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
