yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
