its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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