His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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