My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize