I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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