i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
