So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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