I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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