You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
