I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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