his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Mom said you looked used
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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