quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
