i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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