So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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