piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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