return my video game
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i think i scared a bird with my dick
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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