I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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