This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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