Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
